Nik and I have had this conversation at least a dozen times in the past two years since I started blogging regularly (first on my now-defunct Getting Lifestyle’d and now here):
Me: Good day on the blog today! Lots of readers!
Nik: So does that mean I can tell people it exists?
Me (mortified): NO!
Nik: Why write a public blog in a public forum if you aren’t going to tell people it’s out there?
I can think of a handful of reasons, but the biggest being that sharing it makes me feel sort of exposed. If people stumbled upon it and read it, that was cool because I don’t actually know and face them regularly. What if people didn’t like what I said or how I said it, or (let’s be honest) thought I was <fill in the blank with almost anything>? It was easier — safer — this way.
Earlier this month I was talking to my girl Ashleigh. She was taking on a #boldmoves October, basically making a concerted effort to step outside her comfort zone. I knew that sharing my writing was my own bold move, but the thought gave me butterflies. Yesterday, with my sister’s encouragement, I went for it and was blown away by how many people were interested, read it, and sent lovely, encouraging messages. Then, of course, my next thought was what do I say NOW?
Last night I headed to yoga class and we focused on proper alignment of our hips and pelvis, working from our core, and using both to relieve lower back tension. All three of these things are tremendously useful for runners, who get strength from their core and use their hams, abs, and butt as a power source. It was a methodical practice and surprisingly calming for such a step-by-step approach.
When we came down onto our mats for the last part of class we rolled up towels into narrow columns and laid face down over them (the were arranged head-to-toe, under our abdomen and pelvis), releasing our low backs.
You might feel your pulse in your belly, our teacher said. That’s okay. There are lots of nerve endings in your belly, so you’ll naturally feel quite a bit of sensation there.
Have you ever gotten butterflies in your stomach, or had a real “gut” reaction? she asked. That’s why. It means something is happening. Follow your gut.
A-ha. Yogapiphany. It’s a new word, but a real thing.
A few other notes about class last night:
1. I was freaking killing chaturangas. Some days you have it and some days you don’t. Last week at the Lululemon event, a single push-up was torture. Last night I was breezing through them like I’ve lifted a weight in the past year. Which I haven’t. Not even once.
2. Ashleigh sent me over to check out Yoga Dork a few nights ago for a dose of perspective and a cute video on the ever elusive handstand. Inspired, I decided to give a headstand a shot — let’s be reasonable — since forearm stands went well earlier in the class. I got comfortable in dolphin pose, positioned my right leg high and slowly lifted my left to meet it. Everything felt strangely easy and balanced, and I was pumped for a few glorious moments before I fell over. Forward. And crashed. It was epic.
3. My sister, Cait, is going to give me a hard time for this one. There was this moment when a popular yoga class tune — Buffalo Springfield’s For What It’s Worth blended with an Indian instrumental — came on during our practice and I realized I’m in deep now. Why? Because I knew the mash-up was by DJ Drez, a groovy DJ who is part of the mantra music movement. To be fair, Drez dj’ed the first class I took at Wanderlust this summer, so it’s not like I’m just recognizing and identifying music out of the blue. That said, sometimes I listen to Dr. Drez albums on Spotify to get through long afternoons, yoga or not.
Namaste, party people.